May 2013
32 posts
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How much was your pillow?
How much was your pillow?
I was just wondering because I want to know how much I’d have to pay to be your pillow the next time you buy one. What would I have to give to be there to hear all your deepest worries stumble out of your ears into my waiting embrace? Then cradle your head to reassure you that everything will be ok.
What can I do to be there to dry your salted pains that you...
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Shredded ridges kiss the curve of a lower back tracing the rocky terrain of emerging mounds. Soft as feather-light touches, rough as the rebound of a gunshot. Smooth. Silky. Paper cuts against the grain - the slow lapping of ocean waves rubbing harsh edges smooth. A map charting unknown land, dusty roads lingering in the air tasting of...
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I see you
I see you
All of you
All of who you are and the imperfections you try to hide and mask behind who you want and would rather become.
But I see you
All of you and I love all of you untimidly unabashedly I will always seek to help you round those corners towards the brighter side where you’ll find yourself
Unafraid to love and step fully into yourself ...
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Heart Knocking
All I wanted to know is if you were there So I knocked
And my heart pounded As you made me wait Heavier, echoing infinitely louder Than the feeble thuds of my pained finger joints Making contact On your Door Separating us
And so I waited Hoping my heart doesn’t give out Before you come to answer Training it with each breath To prepare for each additional second Longer
knock-knock
...
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Transfer from CDs to External Hard Drives
About two weeks ago, I stumbled across an old stockpile of CDs and DVDs where I had backed up my photos from years and years ago. (Oh the days before external hard drives existed and could hold more than just a couple thousand photos.) Actually, they were all sitting on my desk in a neat pile, waiting for me to re-notice them one day. They’ve been there for years. I’ve even moved them...
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Forgive my pain
I can’t let go.
I can’t let go because I am afraid.
I am afraid because I can’t forgive myself.
I forgave you the moment it happened. As soon as you spoke, As soon as I saw you again.
But I have to live with myself. And I haven’t figured out how to do that again.
I don’t know how to forgive myself For something that tore me apart Because of what you never...
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Plain Rice, Granted, You
Is it ok that I just want to take you for granted? Is it ever ok to take someone for granted?
Not all the time. For God sakes, no. Not even for the majority of my time. You’re too important for that. But I trust and respect you. Trust and cherish always the special place you have in my life. I think of you as a staple in my life, and sometimes I temporarily forget how good plain rice can be and...
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I would rather
I would rather throw myself into a boxing ring with a heavyweight version of myself Leaving rakes across my forearms and thighs Bruises on my shoulders and knees
than make you have to choose between him and me
than to hear you tell me point blank that you would rather spend your rare moments here with someone else.
I would rather come out cracked and broken but still with some semblance of me...
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Top 3 Things My Mother Gave Me
3. Strength: When I was young, I didn’t fully understand, but I still knew my mom was amazing. She could move the washing machine on her own, she could hoist around pots and pans in the kitchen like no other. As I’ve grown up, I realized that she had much more than just physical strength. When she was the age I am now, she already had given birth to me and had her second child on the...
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a conversation
“When I die,” he told me, “I want to donate my body to science. I want my brain to fuel future research, I want my eyes to go to someone who deserves to see …” he took a breath.
“When I die, I want you to donate all my body to research. Everything. All the odds and ends I’d never figured out how to use. All the pieces I’m still struggling to fit...
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Dialogue to happiness
Hi Happiness.
Why are you hiding back there? There’s no need to be shy. I promise, no one will hurt you out here. Everyone’s waiting to see you and say hi.
Come on, just give us a little peek. How about just a foot, a toe for now?
There you go. There’s that shining face we all know and love. Look at that smile. Oh, don’t turn away. See what you do to everyone in the...
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Boxing at the Dark
Spotlight shining from above Straight down my spine Casting shadows from my eyelashes Raking across my fear-stained cheeks
Ground lights surrounding me Blinding me 360 Every direction I turn
I look out All I see is darkness Fists at the ready Attempting to protect myself From unseen assailants
Uppercut under the ribs Someone steals the air from my longs Sweep kick to the knees I buckle and...
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I know I can take it
Just because I know I can take it
We suddenly separate Unspoken emotions Unknown reunion Three hours of fly running already
I try to allow sleep to take me away To mask and blot out All that I wish my heart didn’t hold To steel it from thoughts, memories, voices
Just because I know I can take it I allow the tears to come Silently streaming Next to ignorant strangers.
Realizing...
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Anonymous asked: What about distance? Maybe that will help ease the pain.
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Growing Up Happiness
When I was a kid, all I wanted was a new toy. New Pokemon cards. A new book even. My parents’ love was enough, a new thing excited me. I was happy at that.
When I was a teenager, I wanted to be cool and sought out love from anyone interested enough to give it to me. I sought out bigger thrills to give me that same excitement. I struggled to find happiness.
Now I’m approaching my...
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Star Dust
Star dust We are all star dust You are a star.
We all shine the same essence a glittering connection that resonates with different frequencies in harmony with you while performing dissonance with them on a grand stage or in private quarters.
Our dust swirls into tornadoes dust devils that haunt me in the unseen crevices of my body Places unseen even through my own visual...
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April 2013
32 posts
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Spring Connection
A waterfall of emotions Escaping from every pore of my being To drown your furrowed landscape Provide you with water, nourishment The very air we breathe together
As I leave I know our sprouts will continue to grow So that you can harvest laughing apples That crunch a smile onto your face Plucking rotund blueberries To open up a little more to the world
Dulled wintry senses Nipped and gnawed...
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Navy paint stains drip from your lips to smear crimson highways through my palms.
~Sithara Reddy~
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I Can't
I can’t I can’t I can’t stop myself from pushing you away. It’s the fear of knowing that I’m not enough. Knowing that you’ll break me if you ever leave. So I have to leave first, before you because I know you’ll go just like all the rest.
~Sithara Reddy~
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Enter a Shared Space
Two
Distinct entities
Come together
In a place
They fabricated for
Themselves to share
Space between their gazes
Invisible force field security
Untouchedly sacred from others
Yet delicate and ever-momentary
Relationships are like a room
With two doors, two locks,
Two constantly transformative fingerprint keys
That change with every experience
Shared and apart we go
And return...
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“Taste the unnecessary tears
your star stays
alit still for one charmed day
a...”
– Excerpt of poem called “Reading” by Bei Dao, Chinese dissident author
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Anonymous asked: Can I have my heart back, please? I need it to move on.
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A Note on Human Strength
To the people who conceived, planned, and executed this attack to the hearts of Boston:
I don’t understand you. I never will. And I never hope to. While I am utterly confused by your actions and indignant about what you have done to so many innocent people and families, in a very small part in the very back of my brain and at the core of my human heart, I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry...
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Two bombs went off near the finish line of the Boston Marathon this afternoon.
Guys this is really too close to home for me to handle. My heart is in my throat right now. Sending my love to all the people injured in Boston. Sithara
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Learning Laboratory
I am a learning laboratory Testing the hypothesis of my ambitions Against the realities of this life.
My thoughts of who I am who I aim to be Crystallize As I fill the test tube of each day with my actions, Moving my hands carefully Extracting and purifying the warmth of another.
My lips formulating a smile Radiating photons of happiness across invisible space. My calculating feet finding their...
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